Saturday, 8 December 2012

Feeling Festive? My Festive Musical Playlist!

The most difficult thing for me at the moment, is listening to many of the festive pieces which leave me feeling tearful. My festive musical choices are as follows,

Firstly, Driving Home for Christmas as I always seem to be the designated driver, and have happy memories driving home with friends listening to this!


Second on my list is I'm dreaming of a White Christmas, I'm sharing this version with Robbie Williams singing for my musical's a great piece of comedy and a reminder..nothing ever goes quite as planned when you're singing with a choir!


Next... It's begining to look a lot like Christmas, it's a such a fabulous song and this version with Dean Martin..ahhh his it, I just want to curl up by the Christmas tree!


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, this is one song which always makes me cry, 'next year all our troubles will be out of sight..' I certainly hope so, it's been a tough year, and this song is full of hope, never lose faith.


 Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of Wizzard and I love the energy in this, everyone seems to sing along when it's playing - even if they then proclaim they hate it! :

Merry Christmas, this post was written for the Festive Song Linky over at BritMums.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Trying to mend.

I've got my (hopefully) final blood test today, and then I just need to do a pregnancy test in 7days and the EPU (early pregnancy unit) will discharge me from their care. I feel less fragile this morning, but still out of sorts, I'm almost trying to block it out. Looking in the mirror I feel I've aged about 10years over the weekend, I look pale and exhausted. Physically my tummy is still uncomfortable, and apparently the bleeding will continue for about two weeks, though I remember from last time it went on a bit longer than that and they still deemed it 'normal'. I had a disturbed nights sleep, and at some point half awake I managed to kick the wall during a dream and my poor big toe took the brunt of the force so I'm hobbling around this morning. Somehow I think my chances of wearing pretty strappy shoes this Christmas just went out the window as my toe nail is not looking pretty and my toe is puffy! 

Mentally, I'm going through stages of wondering why I had to wait from Saturday until Tuesday for a scan. Why I didn't see anyone from EPU until Monday? Why she told me I had an appointment for Tuesday, but when I arrived there was no appointment? I was just an emergency and they called the on-call Doctor to perform the scan, who was mildly amazed that I'd not been scanned before. Is this normal? I know it wouldn't have changed the course of events, the miscarriage would have happened anyway, but I can't help but wonder if mentally it would have been less disturbing if I'd known Monday and had been prepared for what was to come on Monday afternoon/evening. I'm thankful that my body did what it needed to (however horrific) as I don't think I could have faced the idea of a general anaesthetic and a D&C.

Mr G has gone back to work today, I'm hoping I manage to hold it together during the school run and hospital visit, if I can do that the mending is under way. I hate feeling weak, I hate crying in public, I remind myself that there will be another chance for a new addition, this just wasn't meant to be this time. I look at my two beautiful boys and thank heaven for them. I just wish my hormones would settle down, and then I'd have at least a little control over my emotions! Life has to go on, it feels like it is a lonely road, but support is out there, the miscarriage association friends (whether 'real' or on-line), for me my on-line friends and my family are being the best support ever - so thank you all x


Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Sadness.. Miscarriage

I don't really know where to begin or how to write this, I'm not crying at the moment, I think all my tears have dried out my eyes. I've had a miscarriage at 10weeks, it's been a roller coaster weekend involving ambulances a&e and numerous blood samples - that's not to mention the more invasive procedures.
I tried to reassure myself everything would be ok although within 24hrs of the bleeding starting my pregnancy symptoms had begun to fade all the medical staff I saw over the weekend were great and reassuring. Sadly the inevitable happened yesterday, and was confirmed today.
The miscarriage itself was horrific, and stupidly I thought I'd be ok home alone. I had no idea that I'd have contractions which caused me to be doubled over in pain and i had to call mr g in great distress sobbing incoherently down the phone, another trip to a&e. Then a trip to EPAU today to be told I had miscarried. Everyone has been so very kind. I have to go back for extra bloods on Thursday just to ensure its not ectopic. Physically I still ache, but the worst part for me is dealing with the horror of the things I've seen the last few days.
I keep being asked how I feel, honestly I just feel fragile.

Monday, 3 December 2012

Helping us Save this Christmas - Groupon

A little while ago, I was contacted by Groupon who asked if I would like to give an honest review of their services. With Christmas rapidly approaching, I was keen to see if Groupon could save me money on my Christmas purchases! I was amazed how many deals there were on offer, but sometimes I sighed when I realised I'd missed a deal I wanted by waiting to purchase it.. lesson learnt Groupon deals are only offered for a limited time! There have been some great deals on everything from a wooden train set (which my boys were demanding!) to a rather amazing looking double bed! Groupon also offer a range of offers on days out or breaks, which I must confess I've been very tempted by - especially the Champagne cream tea I recently saw offered!

Having spent a few days looking at the deals offered, I saw a deal which was ideal for us this Christmas - a Christmas tree, a Nordman fir to be precise! Mr G always insists on one of these firs for various reasons including the fact they have softer needles if the children touch them. 

The tree was offered for 50% of the merchant's usual selling price. I have to confess, that actually the reduced price is fairly similar to my local garden centre's price for the same sized tree, however I liked the fact that for £8, it will be delivered - which none of my local tree sellers will do, and I'm hoping that the tree will be a superior one! Buying the tree was easy enough, it was literally a question of paying for the voucher through Groupon, then when I received the voucher code via email, logging on to the tree sellers site and 'buying' the tree with the voucher as payment, I did have to pay extra for delivery but that was specified in the t&c's on Groupon - always check the t&c's some deals have free postage and some don't! My only concern at the moment, is the seller has said the tree will arrive in 10days, but not given a date, I hope they contact me before it arrives so I can dig out the tree holder!! 

When the tree arrives I shall update the post with a photo!

Disclaimer: I received a Groupon credit in order to review their services, all thoughts and comments are my own.